asocial media

What if every single human being stayed off facebook, twitter, instagram, snapchat and all other forms of “social” media for the same two weeks.
I wonder what would happen. Would things slow down? Would bars and cafés fill with people? Would more or less people kill themselves?
I dare to say that blood pressure levels would go down, overall and personal, real productivity would go up …
Would people send e-mails again or even have a real old fashioned phone conversation? Would people read newspapers to stay informed, I mean online, of course …  or watch TV again, and more of it?
Would it people in power hold off their campains and public events until people are on “social” media again? Would it make a difference?
I am sure I would feel better.
But whom would I tell?

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shell

whose idea of your self are you selling with your selfie?
whose idea of being sexy are you trying to emulate?and for whom?
why are you spending your time trying to be someone who will never exist?
when did you start believing that the way you are isn´t good enough?
when did you start feeling small and uncomforatble?
have you ever considered that you were made to feel like this? that there is a reason behind this?
who has something to gain from your constant discomfort?
are you aware that the image your mirror reflects is not the way you look?
and that the way you look is unrelated to the way you feel?

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Kurzer Spaziergang.
Atelierflucht. procrastination.
Toter Punkt.
Morgen weiter, nur, wie?
Vielleicht werde cih nach dieser Ausstellung nicht mehr nähen?
Gerade ist mir nach Reisen, draussen fotografieren, schreiben und filmen.
Und doch habe ich immer wieder Szenen im Kopf, die ich gerne “bauen” würde, im Atelier, ohne Einfluss von der Realität “draussen”.
Berlin macht es mir gerade nicht leicht, mein Bedürfniss nach raus, nach Natur, nach Bäumen, Erde, Pflanzen, Luft ist so gross.
Gestern 15 Minuten shopping mall, an einem Samstag vor Weihnachten, so ungefähr stelle ich mir dann meine persönliche Hölle vor.

Schlimmer noch: Menschen die alle gleich aussehen und Schlange stehen vor dem sneaker shop in Kreuzberg um rein zu dürfen um sich für viel Geld Sneaker kaufen zu dürfen die irgendeine Marketing Abteilung sich hat einfallen lassen und irgendwo Kinder oder Frauen für kein Geld zusammen kleben …
Lachen, oder weinen?

Die Leere macht Angst.

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privacy

dsc_3345Yesterday was a strange day. RTL Luxembourg interviewed me for their cultural program “Artbox”, and  we spend nearly the entire day together, they picked me up at home, then we went to my studio, then lunch together where I often go for lunch and then a visit to our garden … It was strange to allow people such an intimate look into my life and felt a strong urge afterwards to shut myself off from the outside world for a while. This is not an unusual or infrequent feeling and something that is a real obstacle in my work … I do not like being “public” … it exhausts me and I find it hard to stay close and true to myself in public situations. It´s not like I am shy and standing around in a corner blushing, but my brain freezes and I feel ill at ease and only wish to be alone again … or at least home or in my studio …
Today I need to recover.

 

 

working and doubting

Welcome phase of self doubt combined with time pressure …

….. Maybe I should have done it all differently? … why didn´t I make smaller works and combined them with “real” photography? Shouldn´t I have spent more time with sound and video, instead of doing what I always do?
Is it good enough? Does it express what I want it to?  ….

And at the same time, I really need to work without being interrupted by my own thoughts all the time … why is the ideal phase when I feel fully creative and calm simpy never there?
Maybe because it doen not exist. I go thought the same things every time … I need the pressure of an exhibition and at the same time I crave peace and quiet so that I can work and experiment without pressure ….

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Bäume aus tablets ….

Bei der Deutschen Bank wachsen die Bäume aus den Tablets …. was die uns damit wohl sagen wollen?
Diese Reklame ist auf so vielen Ebenen so unglaublich schlecht, dass es weh tut …. und dann auf der Rückseite vom Zitty Magazin … früher links und radikal ….  “Innovation, Coaching, Inspiration, Community” wtf?
Was mich interessiert ist jedoch diese bizarre Verbindung von virtueller Welt und “wirklicher” Welt … ein Baum wächst aus einem Tablet … was soll uns das sagen? Und eine hübsche (mixed race?) Frau schaut verträumt zu…
Ich sehe jemanden der hypnotisiert auf sein Tablet starrt und schon nicht mehr unterscheiden kann zwischen Wirklichkeit und virtuellem Wunschdenken ….
Oder versteh ich das nur nicht und wird und findet hier ein Zauber statt? Verwandlung von toter Materie in Lebendige? Und die Frau ist die Magierin? Bei einer Bank die mit virtuellem Geld mehr schlecht als recht hantiert würde das dann schon wieder passen … Aber wer gehört denn zu dieser “Community”? Und wer wird von wem inspireiert? Innovation ist ein anderes Wort für heisse Luft und coachen? Vielleicht lernt man ja dort wirklich zaubern …. hmmm….

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I began taking pictures for myself again. How hard that can be. Not the taking the pictures part but telling the voices in my head to shut up. No my pictures do not need to be perfect, no they do not need to look like instagram pictures, no, they do not need to conform to some art or photography or Facebook style standard. I take them because I like to frame what I see in a certain way. They help me to see how I feel the world to be.

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